My mom called today while I was in the shower. I missed the call and figured I would talk to her later. Fifteen minutes later, I got a call from my sister and my heart sank. Someone died, was the first thing that entered my mind.
Nobody died. It's my Name Day today and she was calling to wish me well.
As my grandparents and parents get older, death is constantly on the back of my mind. Most of my communication with family members happens electronically, so every time someone calls, I take a second to breathe in and out before I pick up. I worry that they are calling with bad news.
Is this why immigrants always have this barely noticeable sadness in their eyes? Not because of anything bad that happened to them but because of the constant worry that if something bad did happen to someone back home, they would not be able to participate in the collective healing?