Thursday, December 16, 2010

Investing in loneliness

Someone just posted on Twitter that the mother of a Bulgarian friend of theirs who lives in China (the friend, not the mother) just said that "they had invested in loneliness". I could be taking this completely out of context but the quote really broke my heart because it's sooo the kind of thing that MY mother says all the time.

My mom and dad were very supportive parents and spent so much time and energy to see that both my sister and I went to good Western schools. Now that we are both adult and living away from them, they often talk about feeling lonely and isolated, missing us so bad. They do celebrate our success but it also seems that they are reaping the benefits of their investments in the form of loneliness.

I apologize I have been quiet. Where did November go?!
I did just finish reading The Ministry of Pain and loved it. Completely.
What about you?

Photo via Prof. Grady


  1. I think the whole month of Nov felt like that to me, a reflection on "investing in loneliness" - and now thinking about being away from home for the third Christmas in a row. My father certainly encouraged my independence, but I don't think he ever thought it would result in me living an ocean away. It makes me think about my own two little ones - one day they'll have ever right (and probably inclination, too) to travel and live far away.

  2. As much as I would like to say that loneliness is a state of mind, I know in my heart that sometimes I really feel alone when I am not with my family. However, in moments like that I try to think about all the love and support and the extremely strong bond that we now have. It is that what matters, not the distance.

    For example, every time I visit my grandmothers, they talk a lot about how far away I am and how rarely they see me, but the truth is that they probably see me just as often as they see my sister or my cousins who actually live in Bulgaria.

    My mom also made an interesting point this year when I visited. She talked about progression - my grandmothers moved to the neighboring town when they grew up, then she moved to a town in a different part of the country, and now I am in a different country and continent all together. At the end of the day regardless of the distance, we all love each other dearly. She also added, who knows, one day my kids or grand kids may live on another planet...I have to admit it has never really crossed my mind, but it may not be far off the truth.

    So I would argue that no one here should feel lonely; on the contrary, we should all feel blessed to have the big, loving families that we now have spanning across continents, countries, and cultures.

    Loneliness is a state of mind... :)